If Kuala Lumpur is Gotham City, Who is Batman?

 

I had a dream last night.

In my dream, I was being scaffold and strangled by few men in uniform. As I suffocated, a shadow appeared out of nowhere.

“Let her go,” the voice said.

“Diiiishhoooom!!!”

In a matter of seconds, the men in uniform were all on the ground, curled up. And I see a man in mask step out of the darkness.

It was none other than Batman.

The idea of having one Bruce Wayne – a successful, intelligent and charming man who wears a mask to play his part in creating a better world is so appealing to me. So sexy if I may say so. Thus my dream went on…

My dark knight then carried me to the Batmobile or was it Proton? Oh well, Proton IS after all at par with all world class cars. Anyway, as we passed the famous Wayne Tower, for some odd reason it resembled the Twin Towers. And then I realised I was actually still in the heart of Malaysia, not Gotham City.

But hey, if Gotham City – the home of Batman, can be anywhere on planet Earth, it could be Kuala Lumpur! Think about it.

Gotham city is a progressive city, one of the most notorious cities for both crime and corruption, and as such has some of the toughest and most relentless mobsters. Wouldn’t you say the same about KL?

The people of Gotham City are incredibly liberal – they are so colourful and from different species, whereas people in KL are also from different colours and ethnicity – thanks to our 2 million foreign workers.

Both Gotham City and KL are governed by some old timers who can’t get their job done. For instance, Gotham City’s police department is full of the most corrupt civil servants in the world that people of Gotham City have no choice but to fight for justice themselves – very much like KL, huh?

And if you are a fan of the Justice League, you would know that Gotham City has plenty of charity balls where the rich folks shovel money into charities’ pockets. In KL, we have our government shovelling BR1M into the not-so-well-off’s pockets. Same-same?

One last point – Gotham City is largely controlled by the Falcone crime family, a local mafia division with ties reaching far out into Chicago and New York. Over here we have Umno, enough said.

I woke up from the dream drenched in sweat.

If KL is Gotham City, who is Batman?

Help me analyse this will ya?

Bruce Wayne is a billionaire who fights criminals created by poorly managed capitalist system. He belongs to the capitalist/industrialist system and fights the same system he is part of. A hypocrite, truly.

Hmmm…if Batman is fighting to uphold the system governed by PM Najib – to make wrongs right, Commissioner Gordon of Gotham City has got to be the First Lady Rosmah!

And the Joker, Batman’s most dedicated enemy who has challenged Gotham City and its authorities despite having no obvious powers, could be our very own Anwar Ibrahim – even behind bars he has never ceased to smile.

Two-Face, another foe of Batman is a criminal who also came from the same system as Bruce Wayne. He used to be Gotham City’s Attorney, a stunningly handsome close friend of Bruce before he chose to jump ship. For apparent reason, Zaid Ibrahim seem to fit in every specification!

Let’s see who else are Batman’s oppositions – The Penguin is Kit Siang, Poison Ivy is Teresa Kok, The Riddler is Rafizi Ramli and Scarecrow is Tony Pua!

Wow this is starting to make sense.

But wait, my question is still unanswered – Who is Batman? Who is the man destined to be Malaysia’s dark knight?

If Alfred Pennyworth, the old man who raised Bruce Wayne and the only one who knows Bruce is Batman is none other than Tun Mahathir…

Holy cow!

That would mean Batman is…….

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