Some say leaders are born. They believe there is a kernel of leadership in everyone. While there might be a bit of leader deep inside everyone, that does not make them a leader. People become leaders when they step forward and when they are accepted as leader by their followers. So I say leaders are made.
Being a leader ain’t an easy task, especially when you’re a leader in Malaysia where you owe everyone a favour and the rest are busy fanning your back for a favour in return. So what does a good leader need to do and how does he carry himself in the eyes of his followers?
Here are 20 pointers on what it takes to be a great leader in Malaysia!
- A good leader always increases the standard of living of his people.
One way to increase standard of living is by increasing cost and reducing subsidies. When the people start to grumble (they always do) remember to be safe by making comparisons with the first world countries.
- A good leader always demonstrates tenderness and sensitivity.
Be animal lover. People love animal lovers, even if they suck as leaders. Puppies and cats are good choices, except if you’re a leader in India – you might wanna go for an elephant instead.
- A good leader knows when to work and when to play.
Always take time off to maintain a healthy mindset. Best thing to do would be to play golf and best time would be during one of the worst natural disasters in your country.
- A good leader will stay above the Oppositions.
To eliminate competition, send the opposition leader to prison.
- A good leader always finds a soft spot in the hearts of his people.
Spend generously on the best PR in the world and self-promote on TV.
- A good leader will always think positive.
Maintain selective memory. Pretend not knowing people hating you when you make ‘The People still want me’ speeches.
- A good leader will always strive to please the people.
Spend millions to bring in Korean pop-stars to increase popularity among the people.
- A good leader will always try to assist people anyway he can.
Remember, everyone can be bought. Throw them some green notes to shut them off…err…I mean to ‘help’ them.
- A good leader always thinks ahead and has pre-planned strategies.
When the road ahead gets tough, always fall back on your golden ticket – religion. For every accusations, simply head to the mosque and swear ‘I did not do it’ upon the Holy Book – problem solved!
- A good leader must always display intelligence and never to be dumb.
Once in awhile it is ok to do something idiotic but remember how to stay safe and get yourself out of the mess. If you feel unsafe – stay safe. Keep away from courts and witness stands.
- A good leader will always maintain good reputation.
Always be in style – even if that means buying the country’s seventh private jet while the nation is highly in debt (the next prime minister can always solve the fiasco)
- A good leader is a healthy leader.
Good health and sufficient sleep is a must. During a hectic day, do take frequent naps – best place would be in meetings and Parliament.
- A good leader must be exciting and never boring.
Maintain some surprise elements to spice up leadership style – always go back on words and break promises.
- A good leader must be respected (or demand for it).
State clearly who’s the boss. Every leader deserves to be pampered.
- A good leader is a good ambassador of the country.
To maintain good relationship with other countries, pay millions to rent their most amazing creatures and spend even more to build facilities for those creatures. Having good political network takes precedence over the homeless and poor in the country.
- A good leader must be dedicated and always strive for excellence.
Always keep up the good work and make sure your good work is noticed – even if it means having to rub it on the people’s face.
- A good leader knows his duty and responsibilities.
Whatever you do, always remember, you are the superhero born to save your people. Even when people hate you, deep inside, subconsciously, they love you.
- A good leader is a fighter who ain’t afraid of resistance.
Anyone who stands on your way are the enemies. Put them away. Good leadership is about leading people who want to be lead.
- A good leader must be willing to work hard.
Work very hard…except when you have shopping spree scheduled – then you can always use E.coli as an excuse.
- A good leader is always down to earth.
Do the nonsense that ordinary people do. And always carry power banks to facilitate selfies…lots of selfies.
As much as we would like to believe that everyone can be a leader, the fact of the matter is that, some leaders simply suck at it. Fair or not, followers want a certain type of leader. And like it or not, not all of the followers have the intelligence to pick good leaders anyway.
Be it a leader of a follower, ‘It’s not the role you play, it’s how you play the role’.