50 Shades of Balcony Sex

    Imagine spotting a man and a woman having sex in broad daylight on a balcony opposite your apartment. What would you do?


If you ask me, I would probably get my binoculars, a cup of masala tea with a packet of ‘muruku’ to go with it, while I watch the free show.


Or I’d replace the binoculars with my phone to ring my mom up and make her guess what I’m looking at — I bet a million bucks she wouldn’t have a clue.


Or if what I’m seeing lacks action, I’d probably just head back into the house and switch on the TV instead.

There are at least 69 things that I would probably do if I found myself in such a situation, but one thing I would most certainly not do is to take photographs and videos.


I mean, seriously – what’s wrong with these people?

The couple having sex for everyone to see is not the only dumb party here. I’d say the person who patiently snapped pictures and recorded the 30-minute act is even dumber.

And I can’t begin to express how I feel about the police who are still gathering evidence for the ongoing investigation. I mean, what evidence – the used condom?


Seriously, isn’t recording pornographic material illegal as well?

Come on lah — anyone with half a normal human brain would know that all they needed to do in the face of such obscene action would be to pick up the phone and call the police. Or inform the security guards. Or just yell, ‘Oi, bodoh!’.


Clearly, anyone in their right mind wouldn’t go to all the trouble to produce pictures and video recordings with the nasty intention of publicising them.

Even Datuk Michael Chong, whom I respect for his dedication in the MCA Public Service and Complaints Department, disappointingly slammed the couple’s brazen act without questioning the complainant’s motive in recording, when he could just as well have lodged a report at the management office of the apartment.


I guess people are just losing their minds these days.

By the way, I wonder why nothing interesting ever takes place in the balcony opposite my unit…





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