1. Malaysians are very careful people. We have at least half a dozen padlocks on our doors, steering locks and gear locks in our cars and even our luggage has padlocks. The only one thing without padlock is our handbags, that is why we like swinging our handbags when going for walks and end up ‘donating’ it to the less fortunate snatchers.
2. Malaysians have special connections with sign boards – we never follow them, yet we complain about them all the time. We speed at “No Speeding” junctures, we throw garbage right under “No Littering” signboards and we bring in pets into “No Pets” zone. We are impossible!
3. Malaysians are amazing at multi-tasking. We can do so many things at once – drive and dig our nose, facebook and work, debate in Parliament and sleep, oh the list is too long to even mention!
4. Malaysians are very good in English, having studied the language for a total of 11 years in primary and secondary school. We are so good that we have come up with our own words and spelling. Kipidap!
5. Malaysians are very honest. We tend to tell things as it is. We do not hide things or make excuses. For example our First Lady when questioned about her diamonds, she was absolutely honest and told us the truth without being embarrassed about it – she used her piggy bank to buy them! And when we asked our Prime Minister where did RM42billion of the infamous 1MDB sovereign fund disappear, he was totally honest when he said “__________”
-yup, that’s precisely what he said!
6. Malaysians are super sensitive. We only look creepy and fierce, but we are gentle and so nice. Even when officers are on duty and they stop you for speeding, they won’t give you ticket, they will invite you for ‘coffee’ instead.
7. Malaysians are ICT experts. We know Facebooking inside out! Even during office hours we will be busy facebooking. So if you head to a government department and wonder why the service is so slow – it’s nothing, they are just enhancing their facebooking skills.
8. Malaysians are united. We compromise and bond with each other very well. If you ask a Malay and an Indian to work together, the Malay will lead and the Indian will follow. If you ask a Chinese and an Indian to work together, the Chinese will lead and the Indian follow. If you ask a Malay and a Chinese to work together, both will be the leader. And if you ask both Indians to work together, they will request to work with a Chinese or a Malay. See, that’s how united we are!
9. Malaysians are pretty serious about their hygiene. And they like to display how hygienic they are. So be ready to get a free fashion show all around their house – on the fence, the trees, the bushes, the windows, on the car and anywhere they can find space.
10. Malaysians like to be very descriptive. We don’t leave it to others to interpret what we mean, instead we put in effort to explain in lengthy details what we have in mind. So be sure to pay attention when we speak because most of the times, we ourselves have no clue what we talk about!
Wanna chuckle more?
Checkout the hilarious “Best of Malaysia Series” by my mate at Panmnesia.