Human finger is one of the most powerful tool in the world. They are special because there are no muscles in fingers, yet they assist us to do lots of things. I was writing about human fingers recently and started wondering what do our politicians fancy doing with their fingers? Well, here you have it –
Fa’s Top Ten: Things Malaysian Politicians Like To Do With Their Fingers!
Tan Sri Muhyiddin Yassin uses his finger to get into the thinking mode every time he gets news of how bad Malaysian students are doing as compared to the international students and at the same time his finger helps him come up with excuses to justify our education system as the best in the world. Perhaps someone should remind him that the budget allocation does not automatically increase the quality.
Number # 9:
Datin Seri Wan Azizah enjoyed her moments of glamour during the Permatang Pauh election as she appeared in white gloves and white fan. Honestly I have no idea what was going on there, perhaps she is a big fan of Michael Jackson – I dunno lah. But you know what, the longer I see this picture, I feel as if she is giving me the fingers (though it is the wrong finger), makes me as uncomfortable as those hideous gloves. Next please.
Number # 8:
Sweaty fingers sometimes do come handy for actors (cough) (cough) I mean politicians. Khairy Jamaluddin, the most happening, cool, politician uses his fingers all for the right reason – I mean to display his wedding ring (dirty minded people la you all) and once in awhile to wipe away his tears especially in front of the media. Note to KJ: Stop crying dude, I prefer you smiling – why show an ugly face when you look so macho (is it getting too hot in here or is it just me?)
Number # 7:
Lim Guan Eng is in his bad mood these days. Anyone giving him bad publicity will be summoned. Anyone criticizing Penang will be summoned. Anyone ridiculing him will be summoned. So if you are in the same room as Guan Eng, watch out for his fingers. If it shows him to be pissed (as per the picture), you better drop your article and write him a rosy poem instead!
I love you LGE, don’t sue me please, I no money.
Number # 6:
Ibrahim Ali hates to be called ‘Katak’ (frogs). I have no idea how Malaysians came up with the nickname but the longer you look at Ibrahim, the more he looks like one. However, let us respect his wish and cut him some slack. Stop addressing him as ‘Katak’ or else (refer to the pic) he will cekik you (strangle).
Number # 5:
Dato Seri Najib Razak, Prime Minister of Malaysia in conversation with the people of Malaysia…
People: Eskusmi Najib.
Najib: You are eskused.
People: What happened to the RM42billion?
Najib: What RM42billion?
People: The untraceable RM42billion!
Najib: Oh dat one.
People: Yes dat one. Where is it?
People: There where?
Najib: (refer to pic )
Number # 4:
Teresa Kok seems to have headaches often, so she is a fan of using her fingers to garu kepala (scratch her head) and sometimes give herself a head massage. I bet that’s what she did when her CNY advertisements were investigated by the cops and her questions in the parliament were not addressed properly and when people say nasty things to her. Kesian.
Anybody wanna help picit her kepala?
Number # 3:
This fella don’t play play one ah. Zahid Hamidi, Minister of Home Affairs. When you are in his presence, it is advised to zip up or you will be hung upside down, soaked in Clorox for three days, used to mop every street in Putrajaya and finally find yourself in Neverland. So becareful of the “Celaka punya…” fingers.
Number # 2:
Aaaah…this dude very the pandai. Pandai in Malay language means smartass. This dude is Malaysia’s Finance Minister. being one of the most intelligent minister in the cabinet, having 3.85 CGPA as he often highlights, Datuk Seri Ahmad Maslan uses his fingers for the most noblest thing – to count. That’s why GST has been implemented successfully in Malaysia. So come on guys, on the count of 3,2,1 ‘Thank you Ahmad Maslan’ !!!!
Number # 1:
And the best use of finger(s) by Malaysian politicians goes to none other than Dauk Wee Ka Siong who is totally dedicated to the people who voted for him. He seats in the Parliament not wasting time to sneak out to grab a bite or to use the loo, instead he digs and consumes, taking care of his tummy as well as his hygiene all at the same time. How wonderful!
For more laughter, checkout Panmnesia’s: M’sia vs S’pore – 6 Reasons Why Malaysia Wins The Challenge. Guaranteed to make you LOL 🙂