5 things every Malaysian men should do when a foreign woman smiles…

So here’s the story –

Former Malaysian defence attache Muhammad Rizalman Ismail is now facing a hearing for sexual assault in New Zealand after following his alleged victim, Tania Billingsley home.

Rizalman’s defense is “he got signals from the way Tania smiled at him”. Apparently Rizalman has told the Wellington High Court that it was a Malaysian custom that women who smile are inviting men to follow them.

Clearly this is UNTRUE.

However, I realise how confusing it is for men when a woman smiles at them or when they think she smiled at them. (please read here for more info: https://m.malaysiakini.com/news/322185)

rizalman

Therefore, as a Malaysian woman, I would like to make a social contribution to my fellow Malaysian men – these are the 5 things you should do when a woman smiles at you…

 

  1. Ask yourself if she is pretty.
  • If she is, then turn around to check who she is smiling at. Clearly it can’t be you.
  • If she isn’t, then give yourself a slap on the face. Clearly you must be dreaming.
  1. Go to her and ask, “Were you smiling at me?”
  • If she says no, give yourself a slap. Clearly you were dreaming.
  • If she says yes, give her a slap. Clearly her mother didn’t teach her not to smile at strangers.
  1. Check your face on a mirror.
  • If you have three eyes, you must be high on morphine, please refer to number 2(i)
  • If you have two eyes, rub them hard enough until you see three and then refer to number #3(i)
  1. Follow her to check if she smiles again at you.
  • If she gives you the ‘oh creep’ look, please refer to number #1(ii)
  • If she smiles again, walk towards her and refer to number #2(ii)
  1. Go to the nearest toilet and take care of your business.
  • If upon coming out from the toilet you find her gone, refer to number 1(ii)
  • If she is waiting for you in front of the gents, refer to number #2(ii)

 

Good luck!

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s